@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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