had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
