Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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