i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
