I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
