Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize