Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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