Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Your penis caused this!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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