so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
