your room smells of hookers.
And success
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
