I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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