I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
