Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
