Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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