Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
