The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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