dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i came on her dog
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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