he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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