She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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