Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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