Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
