You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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