I look better un-naked...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
