Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
