it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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