My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
