Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
