This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He did a backflip because drugs
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
