I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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