I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
