Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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