Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
