he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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