Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
