please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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