True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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