a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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