My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
