just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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