i think i have two assholes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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