Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
