Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
