So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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