I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
