Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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