I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize