i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
