It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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