Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
