Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize