I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
