Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
