Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
