It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
That's intense
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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