so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i think my cat just said my name.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
