i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
