My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
