i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize