Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
