Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I AM VODKA MAN
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