Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
