How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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