is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
