why do cheetos always look like penises
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
